Benji Lovitt
Because the Middle East is Funny

Sabra’s top 10 Israeli superpowers

If you think the Marvel superhero's strength, speed, agility, and endurance are awesome, wait till you hear how she navigates Tel Aviv!
The Marvel character Sabra first appeared in a comic strip in 1980. (Wikimedia Commons/Design by Mollie Suss, via JTA)
The Marvel character Sabra first appeared in a comic strip in 1980. (Wikimedia Commons/Design by Mollie Suss, via JTA)

Late last week, it was announced that Shira Haas of the Netflix series “Unorthodox” will play the Israeli superhero Sabra in the next “Captain America” film, set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Thanks to a leaked copy of the script, the Times of Israel is proud to reveal Sabra’s top 10 Israeli superpowers:

10. Invisibility helps her to cut in line undetected at kupat cholim (health care clinic).

9. Biological self-regulation allows her to withstand temperatures below 75 degrees Fahrenheit in the winter without a scarf and Uggs.

8. Super-protectsia secures same-day appointments at any government office.

7. Seductiveness persuades a Golan tzimmer owner to offer a room during Sukkot for less than 2,500 shekels (about $745)/night.

6. X-ray vision helps find way out of Dizengoff Center in under 30 seconds.

5. Cybersecurity skills extract her from annoying WhatsApp groups without a trace.

4. Impenetrable forcefield intercepts political text messages and returns to sender.

3. Precognition foresees parking space in Tel Aviv before it becomes available.

2. Diplomacy skills reunite Static and Ben-El while making their new music listenable.

1. Able to form a coalition government that lasts more than 18 months.

For a standup comedy show about life in Israel, contact Benji Lovitt.?

About the Author
Since making aliyah in 2006, Benji Lovitt has performed stand-up comedy and educational programs for groups including Jewish Federations, Chabads, synagogues, Masa Israel Journey, and Birthright Israel. His perspectives on aliyah and Israeli society have been featured on Israeli TV and radio and in publications such as USA Today, Time Magazine, the BBC, and more. Benji has worked as a cross-cultural trainer with groups including the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Masa Israel and is a popular presenter on the Limmud International circuit. During 2014's Operation Protective Edge, his humorous observations on the war led to his being called in Israel "the only reason to go on Facebook.”
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