Sermons of Rebuke: Terumah Excerpts

תרומה

Shabbat Shalom

Directions.They followed directions. Exactly how H’ told them to. The curtains, the loops, the hooks.

They put them all together and the Tabernacle shall become one (26:11). You don’t just throw together a Tabernacle. There are Tabernacle directions you have to follow. You got to know where Tabernacle slots are. There are Tabernacle rules that H’ lets you know…

When was the last time you followed directions correctly? Mike. You couldn’t even put up your Walmart shelf. And your name only has one syllable…You had to hire a handyman. No embarrassment…You had to hire somebody who has usable hands…Because you don’t read directions. It was a plastic connector shelf. It had slots for everything. You didn’t even use a hammer…

I can’t even get you to listen when I am giving a sermon. Directions: Sit and don’t talk Fran…

I asked for the kiddush tables to be set up in a an oval pattern. No. Didn’t happen…I wrote down the Stella D’oro chocolate filled cookies, not the dried out sponge cake. Written directions. Did it happen? No…
When you follow rules, directions, and it comes together, that is how you become one entity. A way of connecting with H’s oneness…You don’t connect when a handyman has to put up your shelves…This shule has so many different entities and not one of them listens…Even the youth movements: Bnei Akiva youth group, Ezra youth group, Tzofim, NIFTY, NCSY, USY, every acronym…One kid in each group. They are not even youth groups. They are youth people…There is not youth movement. ? Because you cannot move if you don’t follow the rabbi’s directions…

You don’t build bauhus house with straight windows…You don’t install glass in the Tabernacle. Just because it is not written to not put in glass, doesn’t mean that you make a decision to put a shtender on your seat in shule, Bernie…There are people who are trying to sit there…It is right in Mike’s neck. Your shtender and Mike’s neck are one.
You deserve it Mike. At least Bernie knows how to build.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.

David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom