Sexism became wallpaper

A random ad-hoc list of fury

A policeman in the US killing a helpless older Black man in brought daylight resulted in a tsunami of indignation and raised awareness the world over and rightly so. But when Asian women are murdered by an incel, the racism is widely reported but the sexism is mostly overlooked.

Every instance of Antisemitism anywhere in the world of cyberspace results in a storm of protests by Jews and their allies and rightly so. But, when women and transwomen are trashed, the world yawns, sighs, and continues as if nothing happened.

Yes, most men love their mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters. But they fail to see the connection. BTW: ‘Love’ is not feeling warm about someone. That’s liking to feel nice yourself. True love is to make the other feel loved.

Being nice to women is not enough as an act against sexism. Sexism kills. It intimidates and kills emotionally, life-long. Being nice is not enough.

Sexism is everywhere. Structurally, girls and women are treated as second-class all the time. Men shamelessly parade their elevated egos all the time.

Rape by strangers or at work is terrible. But most sexual intimidation or molestation is by acquaintances and at home. But all of that is just the tip of the iceberg. The whole mass is seeing and treating women as requisites in the lives of men, tools to use, services to order, beauty for decoration.

Not only are women treated as second-class; their oppression is treated as unimportant too.

The Dutch PM was just made aware that he doesn’t let women finish their sentences. He was not aware of that. But his three female ministers were.

As soon as an illness kills a lot of men, funds will be found. But if it kills a lot of women, well, we all need to die one day.

Professions dominated by women that attract male colleagues, suddenly see their salaries go up.

Girls are still told that they’re too weak (or stupid) compared to boys.

The number of women in politics is ridiculously low. Political parties that ban women to be elected are still tolerated in democracies.

Some 99% of all wealth in the world is earned by men while 90% of the work is done by women, often without pay or recognition.

If men could get pregnant, pregnancy would be considered 3.5 jobs (thrice 8 hours per day, 7 days a week) and be paid for. In general, having and raising children has been women’s work and at best, a man’s hobby.

The most successful ‘alternative’ family is a single mother but it’s seen as an inherent failure.

Yes, many women are now ‘allowed’ to be part of the workforce. But sexism makes that often, they are now expected to do that and still do most of the household chores and be with the kids while he makes ‘his’ carrier — to dump her when he gets older and wants someone young.

If a woman or girl stands her ground she’s a bitch and if she gives in she’s a push-over. Men who ‘like strong women’ typically let them serve them, instead of actively supporting their leadership.

If women collectively would have been as lazy as most men, we would have died out millennia ago.

Whites are often so eager to point out sexism in other cultures. Middle-class people can’t wait to talk about working-class sexism. While they all have plenty of sexism in their own house to take care of.

Women’s clothing is often still sexist. Too revealing. Not enough pockets. Shoes that give no stability or platform to use strength. Bras that are plainly uncomfortable.

Almost all violence in the world (including causing wars) is perpetrated by men but that doesn’t hurt their egos. Still, you would think that most police would be women good at dissolving tensions but they are not.

We should all feel engaged at the idea that women and girls are not safe to walk the street or be home with a totalitarian family member.

Sexism is not natural. It is not God-given. It is manmade (!) misery that must stop. And the first step is not to get used to it. And to ask girls and women what they notice and think, and to listen and shut up.

True male pride is being proud of being an active supporter of women — not because women are weak but because we don’t want to be agents of their oppression and we recognize: we are making the mess.

A great question to ask is: “What can I do today to make your life more wonderful.” And to keep asking it until you got an answer.

Sometimes, a woman is sick and tired of facing sexism and wants to ignore it: I’m self-made and I let no one oppress me. That’s nice but that cannot undo institutionalized mistreatment of women or sexism in men’s heads. Also, so doesn’t need to clean up that mess. That’s the work of men (once they began to listen to women).

Some progress has been made. But, the idea that sexism is not such a problem anymore shows how much work is still needed. It’s nothing to be proud of.

About the Author

MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. * As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. * This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2000 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe too, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. * His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1