Shuls should designate a candywoman

With the disclosure that no one in my family is a dentist and with reminding everyone of best health practices (i.e., don’t give your kids too much candy), I will say with certainty that the role a candyman plays in an Orthodox synagogue is far more important than many recognize. The many kind, gracious, generous, and thoughtful shul candymen I have seen don’t simply dispense candy to children who pass by their seats; candymen often come over to a shy child to offer the candy, remind children to say please and thank you, give the parents much-needed moments of quiet to focus on davening, put a smile on the face of a child, and help us raise children who look forward to coming to shul.

All that said, it is time for our communities to make sure this positive experience does not take place on only one side of the mechitza (the divider between the seating of men and women in Orthodox synagogues). It is time for every shul to make sure they also have a woman filling this role and make sure children can find candy on the other side of the separation. 

Why is this important?

The importance a candyman plays in a shul is a matter of consensus. Making sure the blessings that come with that role expand to both sides of the mechitza should also be a matter of consensus. 

Decades ago, my grandfather, Rabbi Baruch Poupko, wrote to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein zt”l about the permissibility of having a woman serving in the role of hashgacha — supervisor in kashrut. The question my grandfather sent was not merely out of curiosity. In my grandfather’s work, advancing accessibility to kosher food in Pittsburgh, he oversaw the supervision in local butcher shops, grocery stores, the Heinz factory, and other establishments in the Pittsburgh area. One of the mashgichim (supervisors) passed away, leaving his wife and family with no source of livelihood. My grandfather wrote to the rabbi, who responded with a letter that has now become very famous, due to its centrality to the discussion of women serving rabbinic and other roles in the Orthodox community.

While the liberal tendency is to widen the scope of women taking on formal and informal roles in the Orthodox community, and the conservative tendency is to oppose such expansions, both sides must agree that expanding the role of a candyman to the other side of the mechitza, is a welcome imperative. If you are on the more liberal side, you would like to see more opportunities for women to get involved in shul life. If you are on the more conservative side, making sure there is candy on the women’s side of the mechitza is also important. 

It is beyond my understanding why this is the situation, but having been to and working in many shuls, I do not recall ever encountering a shul that had a woman serving in the role of giving the community’s children candy, despite the many obvious benefits of making sure we do have that opportunity. For the sake of education, for the sake of safety, and for the sake of tz’niut (modesty), it is time to make this happen and offer candy on both sides of the mechitza.