Some Random Thoughts and Advice from Stevie Wonder

Here are some random thoughts and advice from yours truly:

• The problem with freezing your body for longevity’s sake is that you may wind up as an ice cube in someone’s drink.
• And what if the cleaner trips over the cord and knocks out all the power? What a sad sight for loved ones!
• The problem with walking in the woods on a snowy evening is the lone hunter who sees your new funny duck cap for what it is: a duck.
• The problem with having a life-threatening illness is that one walks a tight rope with no net, hoping that one gets to the other side
• The problem with central heating is that you may not need it in every nook and cranny of the house.
• The problem with cooking with olive oil is when it heats up too much and becomes carcinogenic.
• The path of least resistance can get boring.  The path of greatest resistance can tire you out.
• The problem with refrigerators is their constant crazy-making sound.
• The problem with eating is that you have to wash the dishes.
• The problem with old age is that there is no return.
• Bach was the greatest.  No Mozart. No Coltrane. No Ives. Stupid argument.
• There is nothing greater than being a grandparent (so I have been told).
• The problem with rolling portable radiators is that they are very heavy.
• The problem with fluorescent lights is that they suck.  Buy only the kind that are based on wave frequencies of sunshine (the lights are called “lumilux”)
• The problem with full eclipses is that if you watch them without proper filters, you can burn your eyes out.
• The problem with cats is that they can be sneaky.  Likewise, snakes.
• The problem with most airports is the hysteria.
• The problem with flying is the cramped space and poor food.
• The problem with gasoline stations is the omnipresent smell of spilled gas.
• The problem with Roladin sufganiot (doughnuts) is that they look incredible but taste, well, blah.
• The problem with high rises is their lack of aesthetics–and their builders’ high profit motives.
• Sometimes government offices are so crowded they are like gigantic petri dishes (beware)
• The problem with the local tax office is that people rarely smile (also that you are guilty before being proved innocent)
• Life is better with the sun out (duh), except when it’s 40 degrees centigrade.
• Not all sunglasses are Polaroid, and hence give little protection against harmful sun rays.
• Live every moment like it’s your last!
• The problem with living every moment as if it’s your last is that you may trip on the cracks.
• Watch the bones (especially the small ones!) when you eat fish.
• Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT through wet wipes into the toilet (you will see!).
• Smile all the time.
• Avoid smiling all the time if you don’t want people to think you are crazy.
• Smile anyways, who cares what people think.
• Wear a comfy fluffy bathrobe one morning for as long as you want!
• Go on a news fast.
• When you tie your shoes, tie them twice.
• Don’t walk on the street. You never know what’s been flowing in the gutters.
• Go to Paris.  Close your eyes!  Open your eyes!
• Listen to great music, undisturbed: Bach B-minor Mass, Mozart Requiem, Fauré Requiem, Coltrane Expression, Ives 4th Symphony, etc.
• Walk and jog where the air is fresh and clean (ever tried jogging in Delhi?  I did, and lived to tell the tale).
• Do NOT dive in fresh water lakes or streams.  There may be brain-eating amoeba.
• Be kind to our web-footed friend, ’cause a duck may be somebody’s mother.
• Laughing is, without a doubt, therapeutic.  Do it often!
• Read out loud to yourself (after all, we are all children at heart).
• Call a friend you haven’t spoken to for thirty years.
• Wash your feet! (as much as your hands!)
• Do not wear your street shoes in the house.  Have some toasty slippers by the door.
• Keep on smiling, ’cause the whole world smiles with you!