The Zionist’s Guide To The World Cup–Day 12

The truth be told:  Iran played well and nearly stole a victory from heavily-favored Portugal.

Another truth to be told:  Iranian athletes almost always fight tenaciously in competition.  They rarely go down easily to defeat.

All of these truths aside, though, it is a good thing that their World Cup is over.  Today’s headlines report that there is rioting in Tehran over the decline in value of the national currency.  How today’s frustrating draw in Russia will affect the domestic situation in not at all clear.  However, the fact that Iranian took the time to riot today, rather than congregating before their TVs to watch pre-match coverage, may be some indication of how desperate the economic situation is.

The Moroccans also gave a good account of themselves in tying Spain in “The Reconquista, Part II.”  As for “The Battle over the Islands of Tiran and Sanafir, Part II” (a.k.a Egypt versus Saudi Arabia), the Saudis managed a stoppage time goal to down their Red Sea neighbors, 2-1.  In doing so, they became the only Arab country to win a match so far in this World Cup.  The fact that it occurred against Egypt naturally means that the victory signifies little.

The bottom line is that with the failure of Iran to qualify for the knockout rounds, all of the countries that have ever been at war (declared or not) at the World Cup are now out of the contest.  That cannot be a bad thing for the Jews, right?

Tomorrow, Australia will attempt to beat the odds to make it to the next round.  They need to beat Peru and hope that the French beat the Danes by several goals.  Argentina and Nigeria will also playing each other for their tournament futures, as well.

In other World Cup news, it was reported that the Russian branch of Burger King offered a lifetime supply of Whoppers to any Russian woman who becomes pregnant by a World Cup soccer player.  In this way, Russia would thereby have future generations of soccer stars.  Should the 2030 World Cup be awarded to Israel, I wonder if Burger Ranch would make a similar offer?

About the Author
Doug Klein is an attorney in Chicago and the wrestling coach at Ida Crown Jewish Academy.
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