The Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup — Day 13

Yeah, yeah, I know: the Zionist’s great hope for Civilization–Australia–crashed out of the World Cup today. Also, Argentina squeaked by a determined Nigeria with a goal in the 86th minute.  But neither of those were the most important thing that happened for the Zionist in today’s action.

Today’s most significant action did not even occur on the pitch.  Or, for that matter, in Russia.

In Tehran, there was a third consecutive day of rioting against the government’s inept management of the economy.  Now that the Iranian soccer team has been eliminated from the World Cup, there is no potential distraction weighing on the crowd.  Had Team Melli made it to the knockout rounds (which would have been the first time in its football history), it surely would have diverted some attention from the spreading unrest.

Few things make this Zionist more giddy than the sight of Iranians in the street protesting against their leaders.  In fact, few things say “regime change” louder than the anti-government chants of ordinary Iranians in the street. It happened in 1979, and it could surely happen again.  B’li ayin ha-rah.

Tomorrow’s games include Brazil vs. Serbia, Switzerland vs. Costa Rica, Germany vs. South Korea, and Mexico vs. Sweden. What’s best for the Jews? Brazil, Costa Rica, South Korea, and Mexico get the nod. For culinary reasons, if for no other.

About the Author
Doug Klein is an attorney in Chicago and the wrestling coach at Ida Crown Jewish Academy.
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