Tickle Me Elmo

On the top shelf of my guest room closet, I spotted the Tickle Me Elmo I had bought for my grandkids. I carefully reached up, took the plush toy in my arms, and cradled it like a newborn. I remembered all the hours spent watching and listening to that red-furred Muppet while my grandkids laughed and giggled uncontrollably as they tickled the toy.

I missed that joyful laughter. I missed Elmo’s high-pitched falsetto voice. I wondered, Had the batteries died, or did Elmo have one last giggle left in him?

So, I gave the puppet a tickle—and froze in shock as Elmo chirped:
“Elmo hates Jews!”

“You furry red monster, what the hell did you just say?”

Elmo repeated, cheerily, “Elmo hates Jews!”

Infuriated, I hurled the toy across the room. It smacked against the wall, landed with a thud—and giggled.

I screamed, “What monster poisoned your mind and turned you into an antisemitic bastard? I should throw you in the garbage before my grandkids hear that filth!”

But even under threat of destruction, Elmo wasn’t snitching.

Then I had a better idea.

I propped him up in front of the TV and put on the five-part PBS miniseries The Story of the Jews with Simon Schama.

Five hours later, I returned to the den, turned off the TV, and asked, “So, Elmo—what do you think of Jews now?”

“Elmo loves Jews! But please… don’t make Elmo watch that show again.”

I laughed. I giggled. Elmo had tickled me.

I smiled, realizing: Education is the best tool in the fight against antisemitism.