Moshe-Mordechai van Zuiden
Psychology, Medicine, Science, Politics, Oppression, Integrity, Philosophy, Jews

Trump jokes

If we can’t laugh about him, how are we ever going to get rid of him?

  • Why is Trump against removal of all these statues of murderers, traitors, racists and anti-Semites? He could make a great wall with them. Doesn’t even need to wait until Mexico pays for it.
  • Every month, he gives away his salary to some charity, but the costs of protection of him and his troupe have rocketed sky-high. Why not use his salary for travel expenses, and when it’s used up, don’t travel. That’s what everyone else does.
  • “Trump is a mess” is fake news. It’s nothing new at all.
  • “Let’s make America great again.” It’s a joke. Believe me.
  • More jobs! No US president has created more (White House) jobs than the Donald in the past six months – sometimes even a new person after only ten days.
  • Why does Trump like golf? Because he’s flexible enough to also like it when the goal is to use one’s club to get the ball into the hole.
  • “You’re looking for the [Trump] university – they closed it!”
  • You know what I really really like about Trump? Could you please get back to me on that one?
  • He tries to make the rich richer for the money to trickle down. So far, the White House has leaked like a sieve, but I’ve felt no trickle.
  • “I will repeal and replace Obama care with For all I care.”
  • Trump goes to a psychiatrist. “Everybody is against me,” he cried. “You don’t need me,” said the shrink; “you’re all with it”.
  • Why is everyone but the Nazis attacking Trump? There is no such thing as bad publicity. Let’s ignore him.
  • What do you yell, when sinking in quicksand? “Drain the swamp!”
  • It should count for something that Trump is such a good liar. For what? That he’s a great liar.
  • To have such a great president, does America need any more changes to be great again?
  • He’s not unpresidential, not crazy, not rich – he’s a salesperson. What do you want from him? Honesty? That would kill his pitch.
  • “I promise you all, to always fight for the American dream on!”
  • He’s a master orator. Even when he pauses, he lies by omission.
  • “This is our opportunity to recapture our dynasty like never before!” (Freudian slip? He probably misread “destiny” – at 1:18!)
About the Author
The author is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (, born in 1953 to two Dutch survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork, and holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam). He taught Re-evaluation Co-counseling, became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a vegan for 8 years now. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are: his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach and lehavdiel bein chayim lechayim: Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff and Rav Meir Lubin. * Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years he wrote hasbara for the Dutch public. His fields of attention now are varied: Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (statistics), Politics (Israel, the US and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight Truth), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, GLBTQAI, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), Ecology and Veganism. Sometimes he's misunderstood because he has such a wide vision that never fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what many love about him. Many of his posts relate to affairs from the news or the Torah Portion of the Week or are new insights that suddenly befell him. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, reassure the doubters but make the self-assured doubt more. He strives to bring a fresh perspective rather than bore you with the obvious. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds must be disputed. In short, his main political positions are: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, democracy, anti the fake peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, Science, Free Will, anti blaming-the-victim and for down-to-earth optimism. Read his blog how he attempts to bridge any discrepancies. He admits sometimes exaggerating to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quit a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. November 13, 2018, he published his 500st blog post with the ToI. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having a peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. To see other blog posts by him, a second blog - under construction - can be found by clicking on the Website icon next to his picture.
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