Upsherin/Chalaka – The First Haircut In Israel

Why do some Jews wait to cut their son’s hair for the first time at age 3?

In Yiddish, this first haircut is called an Upsherin. This translates to “cutting off”. In modern Hebrew, Israeli’s use the word “Chalaka”.

We compare a young boy to a sapling fruit tree. Just as a fruit tree is off limits (cannot eat its fruit) for three years; so too we don’t cut a young boy’s hair until he is age 3. This is called the Mitzva of Oral ערלה.  Since only a boy has a Bris-Mila (circumcision), the concept of Oral only applies to a boy. The Torah teaches us that the first thing we should do, upon moving to Israel, is plant a fruit tree.

ויקרא יט:כג, פרשת קדושים

 וְכִי תָבֹאוּ אֶל הָאָרֶץ, וּנְטַעְתֶּם כָּל עֵץ מַאֲכָל וַעֲרַלְתֶּם עָרְלָתוֹ, אֶת פִּרְיוֹ; שָׁלֹשׁ שָׁנִים, יִהְיֶה לָכֶם עֲרֵלִים לֹא יֵאָכֵל.

And when ye shall come into the land, and shall have planted all manner of trees for food, then ye shall count the fruit thereof as forbidden; three years shall it be as forbidden unto you; it shall not be eaten. (VaYikra 19:23)

The Torah compares a person to a tree in several places.

דברים כ:יט, פרשת כי תצא

כִּי תָצוּר אֶל עִיר יָמִים רַבִּים לְהִלָּחֵם עָלֶיהָ לְתָפְשָׂהּ, לֹא תַשְׁחִית אֶת עֵצָהּ לִנְדֹּחַ עָלָיו גַּרְזֶן כִּי מִמֶּנּוּ תֹאכֵל, וְאֹתוֹ לֹא תִכְרֹת:  כִּי הָאָדָם עֵץ הַשָּׂדֶה, לָבֹא מִפָּנֶיךָ בַּמָּצוֹר.

When you besiege a city a long time, in making war against it to take it, do not destroy the trees of it by wielding an axe against them; for you may eat of them, but you shall not cut them down; for is the tree of the field man, that it should be besieged of you? (Devarim 20:19)

תהילים א:ג

וְהָיָה כְּעֵץ, שָׁתוּל עַל פַּלְגֵי מָיִם: אֲשֶׁר פִּרְיוֹ, יִתֵּן בְּעִתּוֹ וְעָלֵהוּ לֹא יִבּוֹל; וְכֹל אֲשֶׁר יַעֲשֶׂה יַצְלִיחַ.

And he shall be like a tree planted by streams of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, and whose leaf doth not wither; and in whatsoever he does he shall prosper. (Tehilim 1:3)

ישעיהו סה:כב

לֹא יִבְנוּ וְאַחֵר יֵשֵׁב, לֹא יִטְּעוּ וְאַחֵר יֹאכֵל:  כִּי כִימֵי הָעֵץ יְמֵי עַמִּי, וּמַעֲשֵׂה יְדֵיהֶם יְבַלּוּ בְחִירָי:

They shall not build, and another inhabit, they shall not plant, and another eat; for as the days of a tree shall be the days of My people, and Mine elect shall long enjoy the work of their hands. (Yeshayahu 65:22)

ירמיהו יז:ח

הָיָה כְּעֵץ שָׁתוּל עַל מַיִם, וְעַל יוּבַל יְשַׁלַּח שָׁרָשָׁיו, וְלֹא ירא כִּי יָבֹא חֹם, וְהָיָה עָלֵהוּ רַעֲנָן; וּבִשְׁנַת בַּצֹּרֶת לֹא יִדְאָג, וְלֹא יָמִישׁ מֵעֲשׂוֹת פֶּרִי.

For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreads out its roots by the river, and shall not see when heat comes, but its foliage shall be luxuriant; and shall not be anxious in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit. (Yirmiyahu 17:8)

A person can be compared to a tree. Both a tree and a person require the four basic physical elements to survive: earth (soil), water, air, fire (sun light). These physical elements are also essential for our spiritual survival.

The soil is where a tree and a person needs to be firmly rooted. A Jew’s natural place to live is in the Land of Eretz Yisrael. Everyone needs a strong home base, where values, morals and purpose are absorbed. This provides a supportive growth environment. The Mishnah teaches us that a person whose roots are numerous cannot be budged from his place. So too, if a Jew is rooted in Torah and true attachment to Hashem דביקות, he can will not leave the Land of Eretz Yisrael.

משנה פרקי אבות ג:יז

רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן עֲזַרְיָה אוֹמֵר: … הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר: כָּל שֶׁחָכְמָתוֹ מְרֻבָּה מִמַּעֲשָׂיו, לְמָה הוּא דּוֹמֶה, לְאִילָן שֶׁעֲנָפָיו מְרֻבִּין וְשָׁרָשָׁיו מֻעָטִין, וְהָרוּחַ בָּאָה וְעוֹקַרְתּוֹ וְהוֹפְכְתוֹ עַל פָּנָיו, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ירמיה, יז), וְהָיָה כְּעַרְעָר בָּעֲרָבָה וְלֹא יִרְאֶה כִּי יָבוֹא טוֹב וְשָׁכַן חֲרֵרִים בַּמִּדְבָּר אֶרֶץ מְלֵחָה וְלֹא תֵשֵׁב. אֲבָל כָּל שֶׁמַּעֲשָׂיו מְרֻבִּין מֵחָכְמָתוֹ, לְמָה הוּא דּוֹמֶה, לְאִילָן שֶׁעֲנָפָיו מֻעָטִין וְשָׁרָשָׁיו מְרֻבִּין, שֶׁאֲפִלּוּ כָּל הָרוּחוֹת שֶׁבָּעוֹלָם בָּאוֹת וְנוֹשְׁבוֹת בּוֹ אֵין מִזִּיזִין אוֹתוֹ מִמְּקוֹמוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ירמיה, יז), “וְהָיָה כְּעֵץ שָׁתוּל עַל מַיִם וְעַל יוּבָל יִשְׁלַח שָׁרָשָׁיו וְלֹא יִרְאֶה כִּי יָבֹא חֹם, וְהָיָה עָלֵהוּ רַעֲנָן, וּבִשְׁנַת בַּצֹּרֶת לֹא יִדְאָג, וְלֹא יָמִישׁ מֵעֲשׂוֹת פֶּרִי”.

Rabbi Eliezer the son of Azariah would say: …He would also say: One whose wisdom is greater than his deeds, what is he comparable to? To a tree with many branches and few roots; comes a storm and uproots it, and turns it on its face. As is stated, “He shall be as a lone tree in a wasteland, and shall not see when good comes; he shall dwell parched in the desert, a salt land, uninhabited” (Yermiyahu 17:6). But one whose deeds are greater than his wisdom, to what is he compared? To a tree with many roots and few branches, whom all the storms in the world cannot budge from its place. As is stated: “He shall be as a tree planted upon water, who spreads his roots by the river; who fears not when comes heat, whose leaf is ever lush; who worries not in a year of drought, and ceases not to yield fruit” (Mishnah Pirkei Avos, 3:17)

Water is crucial for our survival. Without water a tree will wither and die. Similarly, our Torah is compared to water; without it we cannot survive and will not grow in our Land.

            דברים לב:ב פרשת האזינו

עֲרֹ֤ף כַּמָּטָר֙ לִקְחִ֔י תִּזַּ֥ל כַּטַּ֖ל אִמְרָתִ֑י כִּשְׂעִירִ֣ם עֲלֵי דֶ֔שֶׁא וְכִרְבִיבִ֖ים עֲלֵי עֵֽשֶׂב׃

My Torah shall drop as the rain, my speech shall distil as the dew; as the small rain upon the tender grass, and as the showers upon the herb. (Devarim 32:2)

The Rabbis teach us in Bava Basra (158b) that the air of Eretz Yisrael makes a Jew wise, אוירא דארץ ישראל מחכים. Air also contains oxygen that a tree requires for respiration. The Hebrew word for breath is נשימה   and the word for the soul is נשמה , which are spelled very similarly. This teaches us that our spiritual force comes by way of the air and respiration of Eretz Yisrael. Hashem Himself created man from the earth of Eretz Yisrael and then by breathing life into Adam HaRishon, from the air of Eretz Yisrael.

בראשית ב:ז

וַיִּיצֶרָ  ה’ אֱלֹקים אֶת הָאָדָם, עָפָר מִן הָאֲדָמָה, וַיִּפַּח בְּאַפָּיו, נִשְׁמַת חַיִּים; וַיְהִי הָאָדָם, לְנֶפֶשׁ חַיָּה.

Then Hashem formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. (Bereishis 2:7)

A tree needs sunlight or the element of fire to survive. As Jewish person, we all require the fire of Torah and the warmth of our community/Nation to survive.  The essential Jewish observances are based on our community serving Hashem in our homeland of Eretz Yisrael.

On the day of a boys “Upsherin” or first haircut, he reads the Hebrew alpha bet and takes a lick of honey after each letter. The purpose of this custom is so that the Torah should be sweet on his tongue.

שיר השירים ד:יא

נֹפֶת תִּטֹּפְנָה שִׂפְתוֹתַיִךְ, כַּלָּה; דְּבַשׁ וְחָלָב תַּחַת לְשׁוֹנֵךְ, וְרֵיחַ שַׂלְמֹתַיִךְ כְּרֵיחַ לְבָנוֹן.

Your lips, my bride, drop honey–honey and milk are under your tongue; and the smell of your garments is like the smell of Lebanon. (Shir HaShirim 4:11)

We want to communicate to our children that each Jew has a unique personal relationship with the Torah. Therefore, we first words a boy says at this first haircut is reminding us of the Torah of Moshe.

דברים לג:ד

תּוֹרָה צִוָּה לָנוּ, מֹשֶׁה:  מוֹרָשָׁה, קְהִלַּת יַעֲקֹב.

Moshe commanded us the Torah, an inheritance of the congregation of Yakov. (Devarim 33:4)

The first haircut is at the front of the head, which is preparing a Jewish boy for his mitzvah of tefilin in another ten years. This is another reason that this custom applies only to boys and not girls. In addition, the mitzvah of peyos only applies to boys. This first haircut is also supposed to define the peyos; thus actively keeping the commandment of not cutting the “corners” of the head. This mitzvah about cutting hair, is mentioned in the Torah right after teaching us about trees. Similarly to our head, we are not allowed to cut the corners of our fields in Eretz Yisrael; also called פאה.

            ויקרא יט:כג, כז

וְכִי תָבֹאוּ אֶל הָאָרֶץ, וּנְטַעְתֶּם כָּל עֵץ מַאֲכָל וַעֲרַלְתֶּם עָרְלָתוֹ, אֶת פִּרְיוֹ; שָׁלֹשׁ שָׁנִים, יִהְיֶה לָכֶם עֲרֵלִים לֹא יֵאָכֵל… לֹא תַקִּפוּ, פְּאַת רֹאשְׁכֶם; וְלֹא תַשְׁחִית, אֵת פְּאַת זְקָנֶךָ.

And when you come into the land [of Israel,], and have planted all manner of trees for food, then you shall count the fruit thereof as forbidden; three years shall it be as forbidden unto you; it shall not be eaten…You shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shall you cut the corners of your beard. (VaYikra 19: 23, 27)

Chassidim in Israel have a custom to cut their sons hair for the first time on Lag BaOmer, specifically at the grave of Rav Shimon bar Yochai.  This is very strange and not very logical. Hayyim ben Joseph Vital wrote in the Gate of Repentance (“Shaarei Teshuva”, O.C. 493, 8) that the Arizal cut his son’s hair on Lag BaOmer, however, the age of his son is not mentioned. An obvious problem raised by Avraham Yaari, in an article in Tarbiz 22 (1951), is that many sources cite that Rav Luria (Arizal) held that one should not cut one’s hair for the entire counting of the Omer, including Lag BaOmer!

The Shulchan Aruch (Ohr HaChaim 580) mentions that the 28th of Iyar is a fast day. This is the Yarzeit day that Shmuel HaNavi died.  The Radbaz mentions that in the Middle ages (500-1500 CE) the Jews in Israel would cut their sons hair for the first time at the Kever (tomb) of Shmuel HaNavi on the 28^th of Iyar. This is because Shmuel was a Nazir, who never cut his hair and we want to connect our sons to this great Navi.

Interestingly, we know that it was Shmuel who showed Dovid HaMelech where to establish and build the foundations of the Beis HaMidash. The Jewish Nation lost control of Yerushalayim until modern times. Then on the 28^th of Iyar in 1967 (the Six Day War) the IDF liberated Yerushalayim and Har HaBayis specifically on the 28^th of Iyar, the Yarzeit of Shmuel HaNavi. This day is now called “Yom Yerushalayim”. Historically, our first battle with Amalek also occurred on the 28^th of Iyar. Amalek wanted to physically prevent our Aliyah to Israel; they also violated the Jewish men’s bris Mila which represents getting rid of Oral. Now we are here in Eretz Yisrael, connecting daily with Hashem through our Matzos.

In the 1500s under Ottoman rule, the Moslems prevented the Jews from praying at the Kever of Shmuel HaNavi. So the custom of cutting a Jewish boy’s hair moved for the 28^th of Iyar at the Kever of Shmuel to the earlier date of the  18^th of Iyar by the Kever of Rav Shimon bar Yochai, on the 33^rd of the Omer. Jews were not prevented by the Moslems from praying in Meron.

We bless our boys at their Bris, now at their Upsherin and again at their Bar Mitzvah to merit to achieve greatness in Torah, Chuppah and good deeds. We are teaching our children to follow the Will רצון of Hashem, by following His Matzos here in Israel.

תלמוד בבלי שבת קלז עמוד ב

שציבור הנוכחים בברית המילה מברכים לאחריה: “כשם שנכנס לברית כך יכנס לתורה לחופה ולמעשים טובים.

We want our children to at least be blessed with the three basic concepts that will allow them serve the Will of Hashem. With Bris Milah we are worthy of Eretz Yisrael; as we say in the Birkas HaMazon prayer, נודה לך…ארץ חמדה…בריתך…ועל תורתך…, we thank You…for the desired Land of Israel…our bris milah…and Your Torah…(Talmud Bavli Shabbis 137b)

The main time that our children perform good deeds המעשים הטובים, will be after marriage. This is the time they learn to live together and fulfill the Mitzva of loving another Jew as one’s self, ואהבתה לרעך כמוך. We bless them to start working on their good deeds at a young age.

A Bracha for the three year old birthday boy

In Talmud Bavli Taanis, Rav Nahman said to Rav Yitzchak how can I bless you? I will compare you to a fruit tree.

תלמוד בבלי תענית דף ה עמוד ב , ודף ו עמוד א

אמשול לך משל:  למה הדבר דומה?  לאדם שהיה הולך במדבר והיה רעב, ועיף ,וצמא. ומצא אילן שפירותיו מתוקין, וצילו נאה, ואמת המים עוברת תחתיו. אכל מפירותיו, ושתה ממימיו ,וישב בצילו. וכשביקש לילך,  אמר: “אילן אילן במה אברכך?”  אם אומר לך שיהו פירותיך מתוקין? הרי פירותיך מתוקין.  שיהא צילך נאה? הרי צילך נאה. שתהא אמת המים עוברת תחתיך?  הרי אמת המים עוברת תחתיך.  אלא: יהי רצון:  שכל נטיעות  שנוטעין ממך,  היו כמותך.  אף אתה  במה אברכך? אם בתורה? הרי תורה. אם בעושר? הרי עושר. אם בבנים? הרי בנים. אלא, יהי רצון שיהו צאצאי מעיך כמותך.

I will tell you a parable. To what is this compared? To a person who was walking in the desert and he was hungry, tired and thirsty. He found a fruit tree whose fruits were sweet, its shade was pleasant, and a stream of water passed under it. He ate from its fruit, and drank from its water and he sat in its shade. When he was ready to leave he said, “tree, tree, how can I bless you?” If I tell you that your fruits should be sweet; however, your fruits are already sweet. That your shade should be pleasant; however, your shade is pleasant. That a stream of water should flow below you; however, a stream of water flows below you. Rather, May it be so: that all your saplings that are planted from you shall be like you. So too you [Rav Yitzchak] how can I bless you? If with Torah, you have Torah. With wealth, you have wealth. If children? You have children. Rather, May it be the Will [of Hashem] that your descendants will be like you. (Talmud Bavli Taanis 5b, 6a).

With what should we bless you?

You should be blessed with Torah.

You should be blessed with wealth.

You should be blessed with children.

May your children be like you!

!מזל טוב