Vows, Pillage and Loyalty to Country: Parshat Matot
In last week’s parsha, we celebrated the accomplishment of Noa, Milcha, Hogla, Tirza and Machlah, the five daughters of Tzelophad. As we near the end of the book of Numbers—and are almost entering the Promised Land, we find that the Torah is less amenable to women. One can almost argue that there is a descent in treatment for women in this week’s parsha of matot, for men’s ownership of women is clear in the case of the annulment of her personal vows:
THE ANNULMENT OF PERSONAL VOWS
If a woman makes a vow to יהוה or assumes an obligation while still in her father’s household by reason of her youth, and her father learns of her vow or her self-imposed obligation and offers no objection, all her vows shall stand and every self-imposed obligation shall stand. But if her father restrains her on the day he finds out, none of her vows or self-imposed obligations shall stand; and יהוה will forgive her, since her father restrained her. If she should become someone’s [wife] while her vow or the commitment to which she bound herself is still in force, and her husband learns of it and offers no objection on the day he finds out, her vows shall stand and her self-imposed obligations shall stand. But if her husband restrains her on the day that he learns of it, he thereby annuls her vow which was in force or the commitment to which she bound herself; and יהוה will forgive her. Every vow and every sworn obligation of self-denial may be upheld by her husband or annulled by her husband (Numbers 30).
Although a woman has agency to make vows or impose obligations on herself, they are binding only if her father or husband agreed (or rather, did not object). If the father or husband does object, her vows are annulled and God forgives her since the father or husband has the right to restrain her. She does gain agency, however, if she is divorced or a widow–no one can annul her vows then; she owns herself!. So that’s something to look forward to.
THE CONQUEST OF MIDIAN AND THE TREATMENT OF MIDIANITE WOMEN
Immediately after we read this, we find an even worse situation for women, the abominable instance of how enemy women who have “known” men are treated when conquered. Whereas Israelite women are to be protected, that is not so with women from the enemy nation.
Moses spoke to the militia, saying, “Let troops be picked out from among you for a campaign, and let them fall upon Midian to wreak יהוה’s vengeance on Midian….They took the field against Midian, as יהוה had commanded Moses, and slew every male. …The Israelites took the women and other noncombatants of the Midianites captive, and seized as booty all their beasts, all their herds, and all their wealth. And they destroyed by fire all the towns in which they were settled, and their encampments. They gathered all the spoil and all the booty, human and beast, and they brought the captives, the booty, and the spoil to Moses, Eleazar the priest, and the Israelite community leadership, at the camp in the steppes of Moab, at the Jordan near Jericho. Moses, Eleazar the priest, and all the chieftains of the community came out to meet them outside the camp.
Moses became angry with the commanders of the army, the officers of thousands and the officers of hundreds, who had come back from the military campaign. Moses said to them, “You have spared every female! Yet they are the very ones who, at the bidding of Balaam, induced the Israelites to trespass against יהוה in the matter of Peor, so that יהוה’s community was struck by the plague. Now, therefore, slay every male among the noncombatants, and slay also every woman who has known a man carnally; but spare every female noncombatant who has not had carnal relations with a man…. יהוה said to Moses: “You and Eleazar the priest and the family heads of the community take an inventory of the booty that was captured, human and beast, and divide the booty equally between the combatants who engaged in the campaign and the rest of the community…..
Moses and Eleazar the priest did as יהוה commanded Moses. The amount of booty, other than the spoil that the troops had plundered, came to 675,000 sheep, 72,000 head of cattle, 61,000 asses, and a total of 32,000 human beings, namely, the females who had not had carnal relations. …AND THE LIST GOES ON!!! (Numbers 31).
This passage is chilling and cringe-worthy, considering what happened to us as a nation on October 7th. Our women were those who were raped and our country was plundered and pillaged. One wonders whether the two far-right members of the Knesset and the other protestors who forced their way into two army bases, in support of IDF soldiers arrested for abusing an imprisoned Hamas terrorist, read this week’s parsha. I get a daily commentary from a rabbi, who actually justifies this cringe-worthy text. His commentary is entitled: “Rescuing Cringey Verses” and he argues that despite the fact that Moses demands “that the army slay all the sexually active females, there is no verse that explicitly contains the matching [text] “so-and-so did such-and-such as Moses said.” From my perspective, whether they did or did not, is not the point. The fact that this is even contemplated and commanded by God and Moses is the real problem. There is a modeling here in OUR bible for how to treat enemy combatants. One can also argue, that no one was hurt by the rioting protesters, but that does not make it less problematic that we are sinking into anarchy. Surely our American readers might recall the mob of supporters who attacked the Capitol on January 6th in support of a demagogue and its lingering aftermath.
MY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP TO REUVEN AND GAD’S OPTING OUT
And now I would like to move on to a more personal note, which has to do with the request of the tribes of Reuben and Gad, who ask Moses for permission to settle on the other side of the Jordan and not enter the land. However, they indicate that they are not deserting the cause:
The Reubenites and the Gadites owned cattle in very great numbers. Noting that the lands of Jazer and Gilead were a region suitable for cattle, the Gadite and Reubenite [leaders] came to Moses, Eleazar the priest, and the chieftains of the community, and said, …the land that יהוה has conquered for the community of Israel—is cattle country, and your servants have cattle. It would be a favor to us,” they continued, “if this land were given to your servants as a holding; do not move us across the Jordan.” Moses replied to the Gadites and the Reubenites, “Are your brothers to go to war while you stay here? Why will you turn the minds of the Israelites from crossing into the land that יהוה has given them? That is what your fathers [the spies] did when I sent them from Kadesh-barnea to survey the land….
And now you, a breed of sinful fellows, have replaced your fathers, to add still further to יהוה’s wrath against Israel. If you turn away from [God], who then abandons them once more in the wilderness, you will bring calamity upon all this people.”
Then they stepped up to him and said, “We will build here sheepfolds for our flocks and towns for our children. And we will hasten as shock-troops in the van of the Israelites until we have established them in their home, while our children stay in the fortified towns because of the inhabitants of the land. We will not return to our homes until the Israelites—every one of them—are in possession of their portion. But we will not have a share with them in the territory beyond the Jordan, for we have received our share on the east side of the Jordan.”
Moses said to them, “If you do this, …you shall be clear before יהוה and before Israel; and this land shall be your holding under יהוה. But if you do not do so, you will have sinned against יהוה; and know that your sin will overtake you. Build towns for your children and sheepfolds for your flocks, but do what you have promised.” The Gadites and the Reubenites answered Moses, “Your servants will do as my lord commands. Our children, our wives, our flocks, and all our other livestock will stay behind in the towns of Gilead; while your servants, all those recruited for war, cross over, at the instance of יהוה, to engage in battle—as my lord orders.” …So, Moses assigned to them—to the Gadites, the Reubenites, and the half-tribe of Manasseh son of Joseph—the kingdom of Sihon king of the Amorites and the kingdom of King Og of Bashan, the land with its various cities and the territories of their surrounding towns (Numbers 32).
There are different versions of this in the books of Deuteronomy and Joshua where the half-tribe of Manasseh plays a more prominent role. Deborah is not so sanguine about their patriotism in the book of Judges (Judges 5:15) when she alludes to their not coming to the rescue when needed, because they were more interested in their economic security.
Are they part of the enterprise of settling the land, or should they be considered outsiders with no rights of decision, even if they do agree to fight at the beginning of the conquest?
WHY THIS IS SO PERSONAL
Why is this so personal? For so many years, my immediate family all lived in Israel. Then a bit more than a year ago, my son left to take on a rabbinic pulpit in Los Angeles. And then after October 7th, my daughter and her family left first to Greece and then to Goa in India. Both of them, in their own way continue to support friends and family in Israel and serve as informal ambassadors while outside the land. This is reminiscent of Reuven and Gad, who choose to settle outside Israel, but come back to support the conquest. Whereas my daughter does not approve of the present-day occupation, she has ties with the land, teaching on zoom, editing books and keeping close ties with the family.
It is odd that in 1967, we made the choice to leave our family behind and come here, and now our children find that they can model themselves on us, and make their decisions to lead their life elsewhere. It is less of a problem today, when we have WhatsApp, Zoom and other forms of instant communication—something we did not have 58 years ago. It is also possible that it is important for Israel’s survival to have a strong population living abroad. Many years ago, in 1962, I was in Israel for a half-year with the Jacob Hiatt program from Brandeis. We met many people, among whom were President Ben Tzvi and David Ben Gurion. I have a picture of myself with the latter, arguing with him (in fluent Hebrew) about how I could have a wonderful Jewish life abroad. Many years later, in Beit Ha-Nassi, when he was leading a Bible class, I approached him to tell him, that I was now living in Israel. Unfortunately, his mental state was such that he had no recall at the time. I told this story over and over again to my children and later to my grandchildren, when they saw the picture. However, it is time to rethink the concept that the only pure Jewish life is in Israel. We need a strong diaspora—and we should no longer use the word galut (exile) when we describe those living abroad. The way things are going now in the country, it is getting harder and harder to justify the stances that our government takes. The decisions our government makes, has direct consequences for all of us. We need to be strong, but so do those who live outside the State of Israel. As we become more and more isolated in the world community, we need a strong Diaspora. The days when we looked down on those who lived abroad have ended. When we say “am Yisrael chai” it should mean in every place where Jews live, not only in Israel. Our lives are here, we are not leaving, but if our children choose to live elsewhere, I will not stop them. My daughter’s collection of poems just came out yesterday. I excerpted (with her permission) one of the verses to end my blog today:
My life,
A woman who fled from war to Greece, to India, to Thailand
an external rotation that will probably never stop
just like planet Earth I am grateful to visit,
just like my Jewish heritage traveling the world.
I do not want to carry the burden of
one single home,
one single identity,
one single God,
that needs constant sacrificing, constant struggle with humans,
with oneself.
Shabbat shalom to us all.