Who is righteous? The kind, brave women who came out of Gaza, that’s who

When Agam Berger held up a small whiteboard in the helicopter that had come to take her home from the hell of Gaza, the Jewish nation was moved:

In the path of faith I chose, and in the path of faith I returned. Thank you to all the people of Israel and the hero soldiers of the IDF. There is no one like you in the world.

She also became the immediate darling of American rabbis, Orthodox magazines, and those who love to weave tales of divine intervention for those who keep the faith in the worst circumstances.

Though they only focused on the first two lines of her message…

Much was also made of her mother Merav’s request to news outlets that they not violate Shabbat to document her daughter’s release. They also spoke of the ruling Merav was given by the chief rabbi that she should travel on Shabbat to be there for her daughter. And when Agam’s release was pushed off to the following Thursday, it was immediately chalked up to the family’s honoring of the Sabbath.

The stories of Agam’s steadfast adherence to Shabbat, her refusal to cook for the terrorists on that day, and her request for a siddur (prayer book) from her captors (and their finding one two days later, which they gave her) give all of us the type of chills that remind us that we are the Jewish people, living in the Jewish homeland.

Agam deserves the praise, honor, and deep respect of every one of us. And not only because she kept Shabbat and Kashrut as best she could in the most dire of circumstances. She was one of the IDF observers stationed at the border who reported on Hamas movements and was ignored. She endured a horrific attack, watched friends die and was violently abducted by the worst of terrorists. We also know that she spent hours braiding the hair of her fellow captives, those released with her and those released in earlier stages and that she was a source of strength and support to others held captive with her.

As were other hostages who lived through hell.

Emily Damari, who had two fingers shot off and no proper medical attention for 15 months, asked to remain behind so that Keith Siegal, older and in worse condition than she, could be released earlier. Liri Albag tried to change places with Agam, not wanting her friend to be cruelly left behind while the other four soldiers were released. We also know that Liri argued with terrorists who were torturing Amit Soussana, convincing them that Amit was not an officer in the IDF.

In captivity, the tatzpitaniot fasted on Yom Kippur and refused bread on Pesach. They made the blessing of Birkat HaGomel after their release, thanking God for saving them.

It is said that in the merit of righteous women, Israel was redeemed from Egypt and that in the future it will be through righteous women that we will be redeemed once more. (בזכות נשים צדקניות נגאלו ישראל ובזכותן עתידין להיגאל)

I can tell you that in the past weeks, my mental image of nashim tzidkaniot — righteous women — has been redrawn, as I watched the hostages being released and as I read their stories of courage, bravery, kindness and compassion.

Released hostages (L-R) Doron Steinbrecher, Emily Damari and Romi Gonen reunite with their mothers shortly after returning to Israel after 471 days in Hamas captivity in Gaza, January 19, 2025. (IDF)

Now, it is not only Miriam the prophetess and that generation of women whom she encouraged to make and bring tambourines to celebrate the redemption that they were sure would come, who sang and danced together in praise of the Almighty who redeemed them. It is now also Agam, who inspired the nation with her steadfastness in the path of faith in the face of terror, leading her captors to say, “Your God must love you,” when they found that siddur for her.  And it is Emily, who raised her mutilated hand in victory while smiling, showing us that we are who we choose to be, not what others do to us. It is Doron and Romi, injured and malnourished walking through the gauntlet of hundreds of terrorists and a braying mob who emerged with smiles to give their terrified families a positive first glimpse of them out of hell. It is Naama, Liri, Karina and Daniella, who at 19 and 20 intentionally denied Hamas the media circus they had planned by smiling, waving, and even fist pumping on that sick stage, showing themselves not broken, but victorious. Later, they asked to return to the IDF to serve their country.

I fear the dichotomy often presented, the idea that a girl who does not dress according to official Orthodox standards cannot be righteous. I loathe the thought that a woman wearing the pants of an IDF uniform is no eshet chayil (woman of valor). I rage at the dismissal of the young women who serve as “not frum.”

It denies the Jewish people of so much faith that cannot be measured in inches of cloth and can never be judged by a head covering. I have never seen faith like the causal yet fathomless faith of the average Israeli for whom emunah (faith) is a constant companion.

There is a horrific and utterly fictional story that is often told in Orthodox girls’ schools (just ask the girls) of a Jewish woman who refused to marry a non-Jewish prince and was then dragged through the streets by officials on a horse. In order to prevent being “immodest” and exposing her legs, she pinned her skirt to her flesh to keep herself covered.

It is my dream that, instead of teaching young girls this absolute nonsense, we recount the stories, and share the images of our real life heroines, those who kept the faith — and kept each other strong.

There is no true faith without the People of Israel and the Land of Israel. There is no redemption without without seeing the faith of those who don’t look exactly like us, without recognizing the Godliness in all of us. These women emerged from the depth of hell, full of faith, love, compassion, and dedication. The very least we can do is learn from them, honor them and widen our understanding of Righteous Women — נשים צדקניות — so that we may be worthy of the redemption they bring.