Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup–Day 9

After missing a few days, the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) returns, as haphazard and morally questionable as ever.

Over the last few days, the most important question facing the ZGWC, i.e., how to treat the Iranian team, has been resolved.  During the opening of Iran’s match against Wales, the players mouthed the words to the Iranian national anthem, but without any evident enthusiasm.  Moreover, pro-regime goons (no doubt with the acquiescence of the Qatari authorities) attacked and harassed anti-regime fans outside the stadium.  Team Melli pulled off the late win, 2-0, and have a chance to progress to the knockout rounds for the first time in their history.  Whether the team was spoken to before the Wales match, they will likely progress to a boisterous rendition of their national anthem prior to Tuesday critical match against the USA.  As such, the team appear to have returned to being a tool of the mullahs and should be rooted against.

On Day 6, aside from the unfortunate Iranian victory over Wales, the ZGWC fared well.  The Iranian victory was somewhat balanced out by host Qatar’s 1-3 loss to Senegal.  In doing so, Qatar became the only host nation to ever be knocked out of the World Cup after two games.  That is a very deserved result, indeed.  It could not have happened to a nicer country.  In other matches, the USA tied England and the Netherlands tied Ecuador.

On Day 7, Australia scored a huge win over Tunisia, 1-nil.  This was especially satisfying after Tunisian fans unfurled a huge “Free Palestine” banner in the stands.  While the Qatari authorities have been very vigilant to keep other attempts at political expression outside the stadiums, this huge banner somehow made it to the game.  Go figure.  The more-favored Danes fell to the less-favored French, 2-1, and the slightly-favored Poles slapped down the unfavored Saudis, 2-0.  Pareve Mexico fell to Argentina, 2-0, and El Tri now stand a good chance of being bounced from the competition before the knockout rounds.

As for Day 8, the pareve-rated Los Ticos of Costa Rica downed the favored Blue Samurai of Japan, 1-nil.  Abraham Accord darlings Morocco upset Belgium, 2-0–a result which made the ZGWC grin uncontrollably.  On the other hand, Croatia dismantled the plucky Canadians, 4-1.  While Croatia has received a thumbs-up rating, it was not as large as the thumb accorded to the Cannucks.  As for the night-cap, the German squad is hanging by a thread after a 1-1 draw with the Spanish team.

Day 9 sees The Indomitable Lions of Cameroon take on the Eagles of Serbia.  The Lions get the nod here.  The Taegeuk Warriors of South Korea are slightly favored over Ghana in the day’s second match.  The third game features of contest to determine which country was more favorable to ex-Nazis–Brazil or Switzerland.  While neither is particularly appetizing, A Seleção of Brazil gets a begrudging nod here.  The day concludes with the endorsed Uruguayan team taking on the disfavored Portuguese.

About the Author
Doug Klein is an attorney in Chicago and the wrestling coach at Ida Crown Jewish Academy.
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