Doug Klein

Zionist’s Guide to World Cup — Day 4

If only Saudi Arabia was in a state of official peace and tranquility with Israel, then the Zionist’s Guide to the World Cup (ZGWC) could freely celebrated its historic 2-1 victory over Argentina earlier today.  Alas, there is no official peace, so one can only sigh disconsolately over their fine result.

The phlegmatic Danes were held to unsatisfactory draw by the so-called “Eagles of Carthage” of Tunisia.  The pareve selections of Mexico and Poland produced a correspondingly pareve tie, as well.  As for the Socceroos from Australia, they enjoyed precisely eighteen minutes of footballing bliss before the extremely talented French squad erased their early goal advantage and then scored three more times for good measure.

Tomorrow’s slate of action opens with Morocco versus Croatia.  This is a pick ’em, as both teams have been endorsed by the ZGWC.  The former because of the signing onto the Abraham Accords (along with numerous other examples of Moroccan-Israeli comity); the latter because of its exemplary record of support for Israel in the United Nations and European Union.

In a battle of former Axis powers, Germany takes on the Blue Samurai of Japan.  History being what it is, the ZGWC has no choice but to endorse the Japanese in this contest.  Some things cannot be changed.

Costa Rica has a great goalkeeper, but that–and the endorsement of the ZGWC–is about the only thing going for them in their match against highly regarded Spain.

Finally, the day’s competition is capped off with the Belgium-Canada match.  This is a no-brainer.  Belgium is rated as one of the least favorable countries in Europe for both Jewish life and relations with Israel.  Despite the fact that the Belgians have a “golden generation” of footballers, the Canucks are favored in our analysis by a so-called “country mile.”

(Listen to our analysis on A Rabbi and A Lawyer Walk Into A Bar podcast at

About the Author
Doug Klein is an attorney in Chicago and the wrestling coach at Ida Crown Jewish Academy.
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