Exchange with a very good friend

A number of friends of my generation who rarely comment on my columns emailed me about my latest, where I discussed my contrasting feelings toward America’s bicentennial and semiquincentennial (“Belated Anniversary Wishes”). Many, including one who actually attended our bicentennial bash, made the point that they too felt like I did. I’ll be honest; I felt good knowing I wasn’t alone. And an Israeli cousin wrote that it resonated with her with respect to the leadership of her country.

But nothing’s perfect. I also received an email from a very close long-time friend who didn’t see eye to eye with me. His thoughtful, though dissenting, email engendered a longer exchange that extended beyond the four corners of the specific column and concerned broader issues about why I write as I do on these issues. I thought other readers might be interested, so I’ve set forth the entire exchange below. Please note that it’s in verbatim form (other than correction of typos and omission of personal identifying information and asides), with all the hurriedness, even spontaneity, that is typical with emails, and without the careful editing, rewriting, and sleeping on it that I usually do before a column appears in this space (and as my friend does with his written work). That rawness adds, I think, to the honesty of the feelings.

He wrote: “I read your latest column and it perfectly encapsulated for me what is wrong with today’s politics. Although much of what bothers you is true, you don’t even pay lip service to what’s wrong with your side of the political map. No mention of the antisemitism which is so much a part and parcel of Democratic politics today and the failure by almost all Democratic politicians to call it out. Where are the Democratic politicians to call out Mamdani for threatening to arrest the Prime Minister of a country based upon an ‘arrest warrant’ issued by a Court that the Federal government under both parties never recognized. No mention of the coverup of Joe Biden’s condition or the excesses of COVID regulations.

“In your view all that is wrong with America are ‘wrestling matches’ on July 4th. While I agree that there were better ways to celebrate 250 years of American Independence, I am sorry to say that your article simply proves that America is not the land it used to be not because of wrestling matches but because of the monovision of its writers and politicians.

“Shabbat Shalom!

“Love to Sharon.”

I responded: “Thanks for writing and your thoughts. So I think I’ll steal one of your words in response. There are many types of monovision, including of many of those in my community who see only antisemitism and Israel as the most serious problem in our country to the exclusion of all others. I’ve addressed that issue in a number of earlier columns.

“But this column was directed to the celebration of the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence and specifically excluded a discussion of general problems with the country. And guess what? It is President Trump and the Republicans who were in charge of such celebrations (with problems far in excess of the cage match, though sometimes one small aspect can stand as a metaphor for the larger problem), not the Democrats with whatever antisemitism problems they have. And so your issue was simply irrelevant to the theme of this column. But fear not, I’m sure some rabbi in the US, or probably many, will once again discuss antisemitism in their sermon this Shabbat to the exclusion of any other problem that, though violating our most precious values, impacts communities other than ours and thus does not fit into their monovision of current events.

Love to [wife’s name], SS, Best.

His reply: “I read your response and I must say that initially I thought I had missed something in your article and I had read into it what I wrote to you; believing that the column addressed American society generally. You claim in your answer to me that you were only addressing this year’s July 4th celebration and nothing else and that I had somehow expanded the topic of your article beyond what you had written. Furthermore, you were sure that some rabbi, equipped with monovision, would do the same. So, I went back and reread the article and found the following:

“‘As I’ve previously written, I strongly believe the state of our country today is appalling. I won’t repeat the details here; just read/watch the news or, better yet, the proliferation of judicial opinions describing how our country is being (mis)governed. We are, indeed, in the midst of a new, long national nightmare with no waking up in sight.’

“Thus, you clearly included other issues but chose not to deal with them. I believe the reader, including this one, could come to the conclusion that you didn’t go into it because you were only interested in criticizing one side of the equation. I don’t want to be misunderstood. I don’t think that much of what Trump does is great but to believe that he is America’s sole problem is in my opinion to live in la la land particularly with the likes of the people who are dictating the Democratic agenda.

“In your view Jews have monovision because of antisemitism and are not concerned with any of the other problems in America but I would suggest to you that the self-survival instinct based on Jewish History is a strong and not illegitimate one.”

And my sur-reply: “‘But I won’t repeat the details here.’ And I didn’t. That’s not what this was about. As I wrote: ‘I will, however, discuss the state of our national celebration this year as compared to the bicentennial.’ THAT was the crux of this column. A description and comparison, both personal and national, of celebrations of the bicentennial and the semiquincentennial. I can’t control, of course, readers’ conclusions of why I do or don’t include things in a column; . . . I can’t do it all.

“As for the self-survival instinct, I agree of course, that it is, as it should be, strong and is thus quite legitimate. Thus, had rabbis in our small niche of the Jewish world not spoken about antisemitism, its dangers, and the need and methods to combat it, or, similarly, about Israel’s difficulties and dangers and the need to support it, I would have thought those omissions to have been a serious dereliction of duty. My concern, and where I think they have erred, is that in their deciding which current issues of concern which touch upon Jewish values to discuss, they have chosen to speak about these two exclusively.

“As for Trump, no, he’s not our sole problem. But he’s our president and, as such, his cruel, undemocratic, narcissistic, incompetent (and I’ve omitted many other apt adjectives) control of the reins of power are destroying this country in ways that could take decades — if ever — to fix. Sure everyone lies. But now, even the barest hint of truth is outlawed if it goes against what the president thinks. Are you aware that not a single nominee for any government position who needs Senate approval is allowed to say that Biden ‘won’ the 2020 election? They can say only that he was ‘certified’ as president. These are people who are going to be judges, for God’s sake. How independent do you think they’ll be when a Trump case comes before them if they can’t be honest about facts when they testify under oath before Congress? And that’s just one small item of dozens….

“I don’t know if you recall the to-do about Project 2025 and the denials by Trump and the Republicans during the last election that it was his/their platform. Well, as with so much of what Trump says, that was a lie and it is slowly — and sometimes not so slowly — being implemented. That’s what’s happening here.

“So, with the Democrats out of power, their problems, and they are real ones, are simply not the issue that is, this very day, destroying America. So when I choose what to concentrate on, and when I see that my community is not silent in the least about antisemitism and Israel, when I write about current issues I choose to fill in what I would have hoped my leaders would have addressed, so at least someone brought up in the tradition of Rabbis [Ralph] Pelcovitz, [Emanuel] Rackman, [Saul] Berman, [Shlomo] Riskin and others, speaks about things that I think Jews like you and I need to speak about.”

I then added: “As I think about it, I might turn this exchange, with your permission and without names or other identifying information, into a column.”

Permission received, so here it is.