Mort Laitner

Marjorie Taylor Greene Gets Her Revenge—Satire

US Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene speaking with attendees at the 2021 AmericaFest at the Phoenix Convention Center in Phoenix, Arizona. Wikimedia Commons Gage Skidmore if used elsewhere

Dear Marjorie,

You evil cunning linguist.

You queen of malapropism.

You win.

I’m now infected with COVID because of your don’t-wear-masks speeches.

My readers said, “Mort, keep wearing your masks and be careful with whom you mess.

We warn you, do not poke fun at this Georgia congresswoman. She is a fallen angel with a serpent’s tongue.

Lying comes easily to those who hide the truth.

Swearing an oath—on a King James Bible—to the Almighty has no meaning to this blonde bobble-headed bimbo—for she has conveniently forgotten all her Bible verses.”

But I did not listen.

And with all abandon, I wrote my blogs about your naivety.

My readers shuttered, laughed and cried at all your antics.

“No one could be that stupid!” They yelled.

The Orthodox warned, “Be careful boychick, she will cast her evil eye on your aged body.

Boychick, it’s called karma and it will end up biting you in your tuchus.”

But I being secular and brave and stupid did not heed their warnings.

Day and night, I wore my yellow and blue hamsa.

But my amulet failed me.

And now, I’m infected with the “Curse of COVID.”

And now, I’m coughing my lungs out.

And now, I can’t sleep.

And now, my nose runs as if it were a contestant in the Boston Marathon.

And now, I have almost lost my sense of smell and my sense of taste.

But luckily, I can still smell injustice and bigotry and anti-Semitism.

And I can still taste hatred and fear.

And I taste the lingering fear that my death may be around the corner.

Therefore, Marjorie Taylor Greene  you have won.

I propose we make a trade.

I’ll pretend you had nothing to do with January 6 insurrection and I’ll promise to stop writing  blogs about you and your antics like: Jewish laser beams or “marshall” law, or gazpacho police or trips to hang with the black hats in Brooklyn or speeches to Putin-cheering white supremacists, or seeking to destroy democracy and freedom in America, if you promise to remove the COVID curse from my aged body.

I hope you accept my sincerest apology and my generous offer.

Call me if you have any questions or seek clarification on the terms of the agreement.


About the Author
Florida's Jewish short-story writer, speaker, film producer and retired attorney. He has authored, "A Hebraic Obsession", "The Hanukkah Bunny" and "The Greatest Gift." He produced an award-winning short film entitled, "The Stairs". Movie can be viewed online. ChatGPT says, Mort is known for his works that often explore themes of love, loss, and the human connection. Laitner has published several books , including “A Hebraic Obsession.” His writing style is characterized by its emotional depth and introspection. Laitner’s works have garnered praise for their heartfelt expression and keen insight into the human experience. Mort is in his third year as president of the South Florida Writers Association. He was a correspondent for the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel Jewish Journal.
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