‘Next Year in Jeddah!’ A New Vision for Middle East Peace

Can Matzah and Mecca Unite the Middle East?

Before you merrily click your way to the next article or check the latest scores, let me preface this offering with the outlandish yet incredibly true statement that I have a plan that will change the world forever. History books will one day trace this idea as the spark that rekindled hope in a fractured region. With tensions at an all time high and the world nearly giving up, I have a plan to bring Middle East peace back from the abyss.

The recent collapse of Syria, Lebanon defeated and Iran on the ropes, we could not construct a more opportune moment for a peace that will restructure the dynamics of the entire region. With the regions shifting alliances and the shared threat of Iran, the time is ripe for a cultural détente that builds on the Abraham Accords.

Geopolitics is like a giant chess game but without the rules and considerably messier. There are players with strategy, and there are those who just move the pieces around the board hoping for a positive outcome that can occasionally result in a world war. Trump 1.0 was a master, skillfully positioning the pieces to secure America’s best interests with incredible finesse and cunning precision. Trump 2.0 has a second bite at the cherry to achieve a checkmate or at least the geopolitical equivalent. Looking at his administration nominees so far, it seems like we are on our way to what promises to be an epic sequel.

MBS of Saudi Arabia might be fairly unknown in the West but given his rise through the Saud family’s internecine struggles and his time as CEO of the family business, it is safe to say that the man has serious game. We know that Netanyahu after three decades of coming out on top in what can only be described as the world’s most brutal democracy, must be a “baller” in the arena. I know many of you are now muttering to yourselves and expressing your disapproval of one or all three of these leaders based on character or behavior but as my kids like to say, “hate the game not the player.”

Between these three masters, we have a once in a lifetime opportunity to not just achieve a lasting peace but to also realign the entire region and, at the risk of sounding hyperbolic, the world.

And here is my foolproof plan for achieving Arcadia and ending thirteen centuries of Jewish- Muslim discord. It may sound brash or naive, but I have analyzed this from every angle, and I assure you that not only will it work, but it will likely also have the added benefit of scoring me the Nobel Prize. I can hear you scoffing and snickering at the sheer audacity of my confidence in solving this intransigent rock and a hard place situation but hear me out and I am certain that you will fully subscribe and endorse my peace plan. The solution? I like to call it Operation Middle East Matzah Mecca which is a far catchier name than Ping Pong Diplomacy.

We have more in common with our Abrahamic cousins than what separates us, especially when it comes to our Orthodox community. Our devout brethren are the secret sauce for establishing a cultural dialogue and channel. Building a cultural peace with Dubai was quick and painless. We could not load the planes quick enough for the impatient Sabras in search of the Vegas on the Gulf. With our unique brand of wanderlust, they hit Dubai hard, flooding the beaches and nightlife with our brand ambassadors and bonding with our cousins over tequila shots and mai tais. That will never work here as this requires an entirely distinct set of cultural skills—skills that we just so happen to have in abundance.

Here is my proposition, we, the Orthodox, love nothing more than a luxurious Passover getaway. Think exotic locales, a five-star experience with copious amounts of Kosher food, and activities to keep us and our families entertained. Just flip through any of the glossy frum magazines and you will be inundated with enticing advertisements for Passover holidays in every destination imaginable from Morocco to Panama, and beyond. Now imagine we take this to the next level. Picture a Passover on the golden shores of Jeddah, the Miami of the Middle East, all inclusive with the State Department picking up the bill. It is an offer we cannot refuse.

The cultural exchange is not just a gimmick; it is a spiritual bridge. We will recruit one hundred families, and the Saudis will gather a similar number from wherever the Riyadh equivalent of Bnei Brak is. It is a shame that this year Eid and Passover do not coincide on the calendar, but we can still make it work.

The domestic logistics are going to be an absolute breeze. Kashering a hotel kitchen for Passover in Tbilisi is a communications nightmare, but a Saudi Halal hotel? Not a problem. Separate beaches? Check. No immodest women? Check. No unfiltered internet? Check. This Passover program literally makes itself.

Actually, the biggest vulnerability with this plan is that once the Orthodox Jews land in Jeddah, they might never want to leave. Imagine a country that shares their conservative sensitivities and competes with them on religious observances.

The day trips will be epic! How about a trip to Midian, the biblical birthplace of Moses’ wife, or perhaps a camel ride in the lands of our forebears? Glatt Kosher Hajj anyone?

To make this peace plan work, we will need a roster of scholars in residence, equal parts Rabbis and Imams. Leading lectures on topics like “Polygamy, Pilagshim, and Shalom Bayis,” or “Is there such a thing as too many fast days?” and, of course, my personal favorite, “Sheitels vs. Burkas—at least we can agree on Chanel.” These animated discussions will foster meaningful cross-cultural dialogue and highlight the religious overlaps between Halacha and Sharia.

At the end of Passover, I guarantee there will be a rush for beachfront condominiums, and before Havdalah even ends, you will have a new partner for peace in the region. In the meantime, meaningful dialogue will be had, relationships will be fostered, and resentments will be dissipated. An intractable obstacle will have been removed, and budding friendship will replace historical animosities.

This Passover program will lay the foundation for a long-term peace built on mutual interests and strategic objectives. Building a reciprocal respect is the first step to a long-lasting alliance based on shared values and a meeting of the minds. As we conclude the Seder looking out over the Red Sea, I can hear the voices singing and the people dancing under a moon lit sky, Muslims, and Jews in unison, “Next Year In Jeddah.”

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