Please Stop Telling Me to ‘Be Safe’ – Here’s What I Really Need to Hear

Since the rockets started raining down on northern Israel, where I live, I’ve been flooded with emails and comments on social media telling me to “be safe.”

While I truly appreciate the love and care behind it, I’m going to ask—please stop saying that.

What do you really mean by “be safe”?

I think it’s well-intentioned, like you’re hoping nothing bad happens to me. Logically, I get it. But emotionally, my ears hear something else. It sounds more like, “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Here’s the thing: I’m lucky enough to work from home, but my husband doesn’t have that luxury. He’s a builder, and he still gets in his car and drives to job sites, trusting the odds of a direct hit are low.

While I don’t need to leave the house as much, I still do. I still want to.

For example, my close friends on our kibbutz recently had a baby. I’ve been helping out by watching their little one a couple of times a week, giving the new mom a breather. Yesterday, she called me, asking if I could come over. And for the first time since the rockets started, I paused. It’s a six-minute walk from my house to hers.

Do I risk it? Is that reckless?

Maybe I should drive, but even then, I won’t make it to their safe room in the 60 seconds we have.

Am I being foolish?

I ended up apologizing, telling her I was afraid to come (plus, I didn’t want to leave my son home alone).

When my husband came home, I shared my dilemma. He sees it differently. He believes that if we let fear stop us from living our lives, our enemies have already won.

After thinking more intentionally about this, I decided to get in the car and go help with the baby. Once I was there, I felt safe once again.

That’s when I started reflecting on all the “be safe” messages.

God forbid something happens to me—or anyone here—does it mean we weren’t being safe enough? No, it means we’re doing our best to live our lives in an impossible situation.

So, if you’re thinking about what to say next time, maybe consider these things to say instead:

“I’m thinking of you.” “I’m praying for you.” “I love you.”

That would be more than enough—and deeply appreciated.

Thank you.