Sorry. I couldn’t help myself and put some information between the jokes. But who says that the coronavirus is not funny? Since when don’t Jews laugh about disasters, pending and past? That would be really funny.
Netanyahu loyalist, the Israeli Minister of Justice, has ordered suspension of all non-urgent count cases, right after the PM on TV ordered the nation to stay home indefinitely unless one must get out and only two days before his historic corruption trial was going to start. You must hand it to him: well played, Mr. Teflon. Few saw this coming. Kudos to the villain!
(Meanwhile, the PM also called for a broad emergency unity government now we’re at war against this invisible enemy — not the first time he copied an idea from my blog posts without credit. He called the epidemic turned pandemic “the worst in 100 years.” That’s a bit of an exaggeration. The 1918 “Spanish flu” infected about 500-1000 million people worldwide — roughly a third of the planet’s population at the time. It killed an estimated 20 million to 50 million, up to 5-10% of the patients. This is not in the cards with the newest coronavirus. At worst, if uncontested, it will infect 70% of the world but ‘only’ kill up to 3.5% or 170 million people. But it is opposed and practically halted already in China, which means that 1.3 billion, 20% of all people, just got off with 3,100 deaths. So the threat of this novel virus seems less than the 1957 “Asian flu” and the 1968 “Hong Kong flu” (50 years ago), which each killed upward of 1 million people.)
Now, the whole nation alike needs to wash its hands constantly because Netanyahu washes his hands of the corruption charges against him?
We are also told to keep personal distance (2 meters) on all occasions: in public, at meetings, on the bus, at work, and at home. Some homes don’t even have 2 meters per person, like yeshivot. What are they supposed to do? Now, meetings of more than 10 people are forbidden. Families with 9 kids must then do what? Netanyahu thought about that. Just keep your 2-meter distance and the number of large families will diminish soon. And then women don’t need a ritual bath or the sea. This man thought of it all.
Meetings must be 10 people tops. Maybe shuls should have prayer services as shift work. As soon as 10 people are finished, the next 10 go in.
So interesting that prayer services now are almost gone but just after we gave each other mishloach manot, showing that Haman was mistaken claiming that Jews were dispersed because they couldn’t stand each other.
The preventative two-meter distance in a closed room only works without a draft. The frantic, though, open all windows making viruses breathed out fly much further, infecting everyone in the room. Panic can kill you.
While Netanyahu is fatherly talking to the Israeli nation, you hear him think “Boy, am I good at this.” And he is.
Real antisemites knew already that the Jews did this way before the virus infected anyone. Wait till they find out how well this suited Netanyahu!
But now Gantz got the majority to begin for forming a government, let’s see how eager Bibi will be to join Gantz instead of the other way around.
In any case, I won’t blame the Chinese dictators for at first, trying to deny the outbreak and keeping this a secret, giving it a head start of 60 days. They thought it was an innocent coLona virus, confusing it with eau de cologne, French perfume. And Trump thought, what the Chinese can, we can do better. He denied it for months and blocked all testing possibilities.
He thought to face the virus with a proven tactic. The Senate approved his denial of climate change so let’s deny this here too. No one told him that climate change may wipe us out in 50 years but this one could kill us now.
Have you seen these pictures of people storming supermarkets to hoard? These are not Holocaust survivors or their children. We always hoard. I’ve no place in my cabinets to stuff away more than what I collect year-round already. Little wonder they panic if they’ve not been through anything in life. BTW: What’s worse than an apple with a worm in it? The Holocaust. And what is worse than the Holocaust? Nothing — you should know that.
Worldwide, prime items being hoarded are water and toilet paper. Does the virus block waterlines? Don’t the frantic know that tap water is safe to drink and good at rinsing behinds clean? Or are they planning to use it as cheap tissue? This is not a flu virus, will not give us stuffed noses. And because of recession, we soon will be able to use banknotes to clean with.
Really charming is this Israeli naivety that we can all just stay home and use social media and the Internet to connect with everyone all day round. These connections are based on the fact that most telephone lines lie idle for most of the day. But with everyone online and on the phone non-stop, we will see more and more virtual disconnection. Western man seems to really don’t know the word limited. Only G^d is limitless.
I have just one request. When it’s all over and we storm out to celebrate, can we please keep the ban on theater and public sports events? So that people from boredom just must become social activists? What’s the use of beating the virus that threatens 3.5% of us and then all dying of climate change because we can’t give up on meat, the car, and having fun?