Rape and femicide are the worst ways to take women’s lives but not the only ways

Just like the Holocaust was the worst of 2,000 years of European mass murder of Jews, not the only incident

It’s the worst of the worst, rape or physical murder. But it doesn’t happen to every woman. But intimidating and exploiting women happens to every female everywhere.

All the calls to stop femicide and sexual violence against women are frankly ridiculous if most of the oppression of women is left untouched.

It’s like speaking of what to do against houses burning down but not being concerned with small children playing with matches in most families.

Not everyone shouting Dirty Jew is a mass murderer, but every pogrom needed the basic degradation of Jews first.

Money

Yes, women got voting rights, and most political parties have women up for election. But parties that don’t should be excluded from democracy. And why does hardly any party in Israel have a woman at its head? Worse, why are wives of most PMs constantly painted as terrible women?

Some activists make unequal pay the focus of fighting sexism. Indeed, it is ridiculous that, on average, women receive less pay for the same job. But it’s much more ridiculous that women do 90% of the world’s work but own 1% of the world’s wealth. Yes, in the evening, men are tired. But women are too, but they push themselves to clean up. That’s why they live longer.

Many women are treated by their husbands or boyfriends as property (slaves), housekeepers, nannies, wet-nurses, surrogates, sex workers, cleaners, drivers, planners, cooks, and secretaries, all without receiving any salary. If she is handed any money, the man too often sees that as a generous favor, though he may demand accountability. Many wives do a paid work for money to spend any way they want. That’s the problem.

And still, the problem is not the mistreatment of female slaves. The problem is slavery. And don’t blame the slaves.

And all of the above still misses the mark of what is sexism.

NB: Though transgender girls and women must have gotten some male privilege, that’s offset by them also internalizing sexism and on top of that, not getting encouraged to stand up for themselves as girls often get.

Pleasing

Sexism is that women must make men feel great 24/7.

Superfarm has 25% of its floorspace for makeup and perfumes for women. That is a much bigger problem than the blatant violence. What’s so wrong with how most women look and smell that it needs covering up daily?

Now, Judaism does teach us to be less selfish and be generous. But it also says in the first place: If I’m not for myself, who should be? (In a mutually nourishing relationship the answer is: my partner.)

And Judaism places a lot of emphasis on generosity because it mainly targets men. Much of Jewish Law doesn’t even apply to women because women generally are more than OK! And many women who misbehave do so as a reaction to mistreatment by men. It’s the men that make trouble.

It’s misplaced feminism for women trying to imitate men’s roles in Judaism. Would you also take medication prescribed for others?

What on earth makes men (and women) believe that if you don’t demand from and condition girls and women to be nice they would be nasty? Even dogs become vicious only by mistreating them.

Men

I wouldn’t say that men are evil. Intrinsic wickedness would permit every male to misbehave. I would say that men are morally challenged.

Men feeling threatened by solid women is understandable. Women are so much more capable and humane. But even the Christian Bible (Matthew 5:5) teaches: “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.”

Good men do exist. Solid allies of all the women around them. Supporters rather than exploiters. Men who respect and love; men who listen.

Good men do exist. But far too few. Now, that is the problem. Not the rapists and not the murderers, but the average man who misbehaves.

Men must stop demanding women to please them, and all parents and teachers must stop teaching girls that they are here just to be the supporters of others. Fathers may have to support mothers to model together to their sons and daughters that women have intrinsic value.

About the Author

MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, an almost daily blog contributor to the Times of Israel, and previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is (partly) generated by AI. * As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. He doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit about what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and education contribute to his visions. * If you don't know the Dutch, get an American peek behind the scenes here: https://youtu.be/QMPp6h6r72M * To find less-recent posts on subject XXX among his 2000 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/. * Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. Yet, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people who don't deserve that. He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. * Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust, and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. * His most influential teachers (chronologically) are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. * One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. * He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. He loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, anti-elitism, anti-bigotry and supremacy, for Zionism, Intersectionality, and non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. * He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. * He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, empowering therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids non-violently. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's being a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. He lives with his library in Jerusalem. Feel free to contact him. * His writing has been made possible by a (second-generation) Holocaust survivors' allowance from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. * To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. * His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1