Remembering One Fallen Soldier at a Time

What does it mean to remember?

This is a question every one of us have been grappling with since October 7^th. The challenge is more acute for those of us living outside of Israel. We are not attending funerals of loved ones on a daily basis, nor are we shaken every time someone knocks on our door. We know our Keil Maleis and candle lighting ceremonies fall woefully short. But one American Rabbi and Rebbetzin have just raised the bar of remembrance for us all.

Congregation Anshe Chesed of Linden, New Jersey, was one of 300 institutions that participated in B’yachad Lanetzach, a project of the Orthodox Union, in which they sent a unique plaque memorializing a fallen soldier to any participating school or shul. The soldiers were picked at random, some shuls receiving well-known soldiers and others receiving soldiers who almost no one heard of. Each participating institution was encouraged to connect to the family of the fallen soldier, and many did, providing a small dose of comfort, knowing that their loved one’s memory will live on. However, for a whole host of reasons never made a connection with their paired family.

Rabbi Yossi and Rebbetzin Emma Katz, the outgoing and energetic spiritual leaders of Anshe Chesed, were paired with Staff Sgt. Boris Dunavetski, HY”D, who was killed in Gaza on December 17, 2023. This posed an immediate challenge as Boris was a lone soldier with no easily tracked down family in Israel. This did not deter the power couple. After some social media sleuthing, they found Boris’s father through an uncle. At first, he thought it was some form of a financial scam; “Why would anyone be remembering my son? Why would anyone call me?” Rabbi Katz kindly explained to him how indebted the Jewish People are to Boris and his whole family for their sacrifice.

They kept in touch. A group of Jews in Linden, New Jersey, who never heard of Boris Dunavetski before they received the plaque, dedicated learning in his memory. Last Chanukah, they dedicated a day of Mitzvos to bring an Aliyah to his precious soul. With each touchpoint, the Katz’s called Boris’s family who was left speechless and overwhelmed by the constant gestures.

This past week, on Monday, December 23^rd, Rabbi and Rebbetzin Katz made a Bris for their newborn son. In a room filled with family and friends, the name was called out, V’yikorei sh’mo b’Yisrael… Binyamin Yehuda. Rabbi Katz explained to the crowd that their young boy was named after two fallen soldiers, Binyamin Airley and Boris Dunavetski. Binyamin Airley is a household name, but who, the guests wondered, was Boris Dunavetski? Rabbi Katz shared a story of a connection between a family in Russia and a group of Jews from the Tri-State area who had only one thing in common – they were family. And family cares deeply about one another.

Rabbi Katz shared the following thought at the subsequent seudah:

“What is the etymology of Binyamin? The Torah tells us that when Jacob was on the road, his wife Rachel had his last and final son before passing away during childbirth. Originally called Ben Oni, the son of my affliction, born at a difficult moment in life, Yaakov changed the name from Ben Oni, the son of affliction, to Binyamin, the son of my strength, symbolizing then that perhaps the greatest lesson of the Jewish people is turning adversity into strength.

It has been a 14 months of Ben Oni—of affliction—and our response is one of Binyamin—of strength. The Jewish people, since that dark day in October, have showed the world that we are Binyamin—strong—not just militarily but as a nation. The way we have rallied around each other, supported each other, and been there for each other. We are a strong nation of families who are sacrificing months of their lives to support the young men and women who are going out to battle, shouldering the responsibility of our people. It’s been a year of Binyamin—of strength.”

Little Binyamin Yehuda was born to parents who know what it means to remember.

May he grow up to be a shining light of inspiration to the Jewish People and may he bring a constant Aliyah to the soul of Boris Dunavetski, HY”D.

Y’hi zichro Baruch.