Getting the life you want to live and more
When you procrastinate something, ask yourself if this idea(l) is really so important for you. If it isn’t, then who cares? If it is, apply the following:
Strategy:
1. Make it a priority. Don’t wait until it will become a top priority or finally will feel nice. That might never happen. Also, don’t wait for last-minute stress or panic — that’s so unpleasant — and unnecessary.
2. Just do it. Because you choose so.
3. This way, you will become more self-disciplined and better at choosing. These are good talents and character traits to have. And, with them, nothing and nobody can stop you from just doing what you choose.
4. While doing it or afterward, pay attention to the feelings you have. Because if you don’t, they will stealthily distract you so that mysteriously, you don’t get to do what you want — which is unacceptable.
5. You also have a choice, to see the opposition against your priorities as the universe going against you, or as helpful hints about hurts from the past that need your attention to heal for continued optimal functioning.
6. When you always do as you truly want, any shoulds, musts, and have-tos remain with little value. At best, these are recommendations for ideas to possibly make your own, but then from a wish and a priority, not must.
7. Feeling obligated or guilty becomes obsolete and irrelevant.
8. Doing so, you get a lot of good:
- You get the life you want.
- You will have will-power and feel powerful.
- You will be optimistic.
- You will be cleaning up the past.
- You will be cleaning up a lot of confusion.
9. Get a friend to remind you periodically. It’s hard to remember the things you easily forget. Eventually, you’ll remember, every time you feel hurried, forced, obligated, guilty, powerless, pessimistic, confused, or stuck: Oh, I forgot to choose. Later on, you will remember to choose, any time an opportunity presents itself. In the end, you will feel great all the time.
For more, click my posts here, and: here, and: here, and: here, and: here.
***
‘There are no Shoulds in the Universe’
My friend and teacher Harvey Jackins used to say: “If I ever die, which I have no intention of doing, I would like you to call ‘There are no Shoulds in the Universe’ the First Law of Jackins.”
Did he mean, that without oughts everybody can do as they want? That evil does not exist? That morality should be considered dead? No.
He meant that morality is built-in. We don’t need to externalize it:
- Instead of teaching our kids that they shall not steal, say to them: Stealing doesn’t fit you. You’re not a thief. And if you ever took something without permission, you’ll be so glad to give it back.
- You don’t have to respect me. Of course, you would love to.
- Of course, you’ll be generous. Because that’s such a good expression of who you are.
My religion, Judaism, is rife with shoulds and should-nots. But when I do the Commandments because I want to, the have-tos fall by the wayside.
Free Will doesn’t mean that we are completely free to choose anything we want. Rather, the Oughts tell us what to choose if we want to set ourselves free! And we are always free to begin heading in their direction.
That’s how I understand it.
MM is a prolific and creative writer and thinker, previously a daily blog contributor to the TOI. He often makes his readers laugh, mad, or assume he's nuts—close to perfect blogging. He's proud that his analytical short comments are removed both from left-wing and right-wing news sites. None of his content is generated by the new bore on the block, AI. *
As a frontier thinker, he sees things many don't yet. He's half a prophet. Half. Let's not exaggerate. Or not at all because he doesn't claim G^d talks to him. He gives him good ideas—that's all. MM doesn't believe that people observe and think in a vacuum. He, therefore, wanted a broad bio that readers interested can track a bit what (lack of) backgrounds, experiences, and educations contribute to his visions. *
This year, he will prioritize getting his unpublished books published rather than just blog posts. Of the 15 (!) books he has in mind, the next two are about homosexuality in Judaism and new rabbinics. Next year, he hopes to focus on activism against human extinction. To find less-recent posts on a subject XXX among his over 2600 archived ones, go to the right-top corner of a Times of Israel page, click on the search icon and search "zuiden, XXX". One can find a second, wilder blog that also may contain updates to Times of Israel posts, to which one may subscribe, here: https://mmvanzuiden.wordpress.com/ or by clicking on the globe icon next to his picture on top. *
He's getting ready to publicize books on: "Free Will, "Judaism and Homosexuality, "His parents in the Holocaust, "Judaism, "A New Torah Translation and "A New Hebrew Grammar, "Co-Counseling, "Vegan Facts, "Immortality, and more. *
Like most of his readers, he believes in being friendly, respectful, and loyal. However, if you think those are his absolute top priorities, you might end up disappointed. His first loyalty is to the truth. He agrees that in a post-truth world, that's irrelevant, but then this is for the record. He will try to stay within the limits of democratic and Jewish law, but he won't lie to support opinions or people when don't deserve that. (Yet, we all make honest mistakes, which is just fine and does not justify losing support.) He admits that he sometimes exaggerates to make a point, which could have him come across as nasty, while in actuality, he's quite a lovely person to interact with. He holds - how Dutch - that a strong opinion doesn't imply intolerance of other views. *
Sometimes he's misunderstood because his wide and diverse field of vision seldomly fits any specialist's box. But that's exactly what some love about him. He has written a lot about Psychology (including Sexuality and Abuse), Medicine (including physical immortality), Science (including basic statistics), Politics (Israel, the US, and the Netherlands, Activism - more than leftwing or rightwing, he hopes to highlight reality), Oppression and Liberation (intersectionally, for young people, the elderly, non-Whites, women, workers, Jews, LGBTQIA+, foreigners and anyone else who's dehumanized or exploited), Integrity, Philosophy, Jews (Judaism, Zionism, Holocaust and Jewish Liberation), the Climate Crisis, Ecology and Veganism, Affairs from the news, or the Torah Portion of the Week, or new insights that suddenly befell him. *
Chronologically, his most influential teachers are his parents, Nico (natan) van Zuiden and Betty (beisye) Nieweg, Wim Kan, Mozart, Harvey Jackins, Marshal Rosenberg, Reb Shlomo Carlebach, and, lehavdil bein chayim lechayim, Rabbi Dr. Natan Lopes Cardozo, Rav Zev Leff, and Rav Meir Lubin. This short list doesn't mean to disrespect others who taught him a lot or a little. One of his rabbis calls him Mr. Innovation [Ish haChidushim]. Yet, his originalities seem to root deeply in traditional Judaism, though they may grow in unexpected directions. In fact, he claims he's modernizing nothing. Rather, mainly basing himself on the basic Hebrew Torah text, he tries to rediscover classical Jewish thought almost lost in thousands of years of stifling Gentile domination and Jewish assimilation. (He pleads for a close reading of the Torah instead of going by rough assumptions of what it would probably mean and before fleeing to Commentaries.) This, in all aspects of life, but prominently in the areas of Free Will, Activism, Homosexuality for men, and Redemption. *
He hopes that his words will inspire and inform, and disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. He aims to bring a fresh perspective rather than harp on the obvious and familiar. When he can, he loves to write encyclopedic overviews. He doesn't expect his readers to agree. Rather, original minds should be disputed. In short, his main political positions are among others: anti-Trumpism, for Zionism, Intersectionality, non-violence, anti those who abuse democratic liberties, anti the fake ME peace process, for original-Orthodoxy, pro-Science, pro-Free Will, anti-blaming-the-victim, and for down-to-earth, classical optimism, and happiness. Read his blog on how he attempts to bridge any tensions between those ideas or fields. *
He is a fetal survivor of the pharmaceutical industry (https://diethylstilbestrol.co.uk/studies/des-and-psychological-health/), born in 1953 to his parents who were Dutch-Jewish Holocaust survivors who met in the largest concentration camp in the Netherlands, Westerbork. He grew up a humble listener. It took him decades to become a speaker too, and decades more to admit to being a genius. But his humility was his to keep. And so was his honesty. Bullies and con artists almost instantaneously envy and hate him. He hopes to bring new things and not just preach to the choir. *
He holds a BA in medicine (University of Amsterdam) – is half a doctor. He practices Re-evaluation Co-counseling since 1977, is not an official teacher anymore, and became a friendly, powerful therapist. He became a social activist, became religious, made Aliyah, and raised three wonderful kids. Previously, for decades, he was known to the Jerusalem Post readers as a frequent letter writer. For a couple of years, he was active in hasbara to the Dutch-speaking public. He wrote an unpublished tome about Jewish Free Will. He's a strict vegan since 2008. He's an Orthodox Jew but not a rabbi. *
His writing has been made possible by an allowance for second-generation Holocaust survivors from the Netherlands. It has been his dream since he was 38 to try to make a difference by teaching through writing. He had three times 9-out-of-10 for Dutch at his high school finals but is spending his days communicating in English and Hebrew - how ironic. G-d must have a fine sense of humor. In case you wonder - yes, he is a bit dyslectic. If you're a native English speaker and wonder why you should read from people whose English is only their second language, consider the advantage of having an original peek outside of your cultural bubble. His posts are spell, grammar, and style polished by AI, but all written by himself. *
To send any personal reaction to him, scroll to the top of the blog post and click Contact Me. *
His newest books you may find here: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMoshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&s=relevancerank&text=Moshe-Mordechai%2FMaurits+van+Zuiden&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
